Dear Reader, we discussed how to maintain conscious dialogue. Now we move onto something we are all guilty of doing at one time or another – making assumptions. “Assumption” is defined as something that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
We have all, at one time or another, made assumptions. These perceived truths then influence the actions and decisions we make with regard to a certain person or situation, which in turn sparks a chain reaction. It is human nature to do this and comes from a lack of awareness.
To build strong relationships, the best way to start is with true clarity and understanding of the situation or event taking place.
This is where step 2 comes in.
Step 2: Never Make Assumptions
If you are feeling confused and can’t believe what has been said, don’t assume that you know – instead, ask for clarity – especially when you are doubting, feeling self-conscious or judged; or when you are in need, vulnerable, scared or hurt.
Expanding on the tool from step one, Maintaining Conscious Dialogue, say: “What I hear you say is… is this what you meant?”
“Did you mean it in the way I am receiving it?”
Perhaps make a statement such as, “I know you do not mean to offend, hurt, undermine me, disempower me….” (or whatever words best describe that which seems to upset or offend you).
Get into the habit of saying, “I know you only wish well for me, so, please help me to understand”.
The more aware we are, the less assumptions we will make. Sometimes we need to admit that we don’t know, and not fear not knowing or being afraid to ask.
Always ask for and then accept what is. This is AWARENESS.
Do your best in every exchange to bring a positive outcome. But dear Reader, keep in mind that a relationship involves two people and for a successful outcome, it requires both parties to work together. You are responsible for your part and the other party for theirs – together this determines the outcome.
- Do you find yourself acting from an assumption? Think about this and answer honestly, dear Reader
- What was the last situation in which your assumptions proved to be false?
- Have you tried applying the above tools? What results have you noticed from this?